“New age spiritualism brought me to a period of hopelessness and self-destruction”
I was raised as a Christian, and going to church every Sunday was part of the routine. I knew that having a connection with God was important, but I didn’t realize what all it entailed. Throughout my life, I often searched for God and wondered:
‘Does He really exist?’
‘Where do we go when we die?‘
‘What is my life’s purpose?‘
Those questions often ran through my mind—yet, I never thought I received concrete answers. I suspect that my lack of understanding was a direct result of relying on preachers and the Church to obtain knowledge of God, instead of studying God’s Word for myself. So later down the road, I began to wander off into occultism or ‘new age spiritualism,’ despite my belief in Christ. Surely, with seeking new age practices, I eventually realized that I was falling away from God, while heading down a path of instability, confusion and double-mindedness.
1 Kings 18:21 KJV
And Elijah came unto all the people, and said, How long halt ye between two opinions? if the LORD be God, follow him: but if Baal, then follow him.
No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.Matthew 6:24 KJV
James 1: 8 KJV
A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
I was lost and stagnant ….
My life was often stagnant, with no signs of progression. I was often working dead-ends jobs and couldn’t getting a grasp of my life’s purpose. Eventually, I became depressed and anxious about my future, as I saw no way out of the ‘wilderness.’ In Matthew 4:1 KJV, Jesus was led by the Holy Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil, only to defeat him by fasting, praying and declaring God’s Word to overcome temptations. Yet, in my case, I was allowing the challenges of my own ‘wilderness’ to kill my Faith in God by turning to astrology, divination, psychics, tarot and chakra readings, numerology, and other new age practices for reassurance of my destiny. Sadly, as the quest for spiritual knowledge became a major stronghold over my life, I began to experience a ‘spiritual slumber’ under the guise of ‘self-love,’ individual freedom, and ‘dimensional elevation,’ which was pushing me away from God, and placing me under the grip of Satan.
Falling away from God leads to trouble…
Instead of leading me to spiritual growth and fulfilment, new age spiritualism caused a great deal of depression, paranoia, and perfectionism. Astrology, along with psychics and tarot readings often trapped me into a severely pessimistic mindset. If a psychic said bad things would happen to me, I would believe it and become depressed about it. It constantly made me overthink about worse case scenarios, instead of providing a positive outlook of my life. Because of this, I began to embrace perfectionism in everything that I did, which crippled my confidence and self-esteem.
Even worse—I began to encounter horrifying paranormal activity. Many people may question whether such thing exists, but believe me, it does. During my new age spiritual quest, demonic entities would visit me in my dreams and disturb my sleep. I would often find myself crossing paths with people of a Jezebel nature, as I was now an open portal for destruction and torment from unclean spirits. Ironically, during these encounters, I would pray to God for help and protection, but my dependency on occultism continued to lure me back into internal darkness.
Then one day…
I finally realized that new age spiritualism had brought me to a period of hopelessness and self-destruction. I had reached a point where enough was enough! I prayed to God to reveal Himself to me, and to break the strongholds that have been destroying me mentally and spiritually. Within a snap of a finger, I could literally feel the Holy Spirit fall upon me. The worrying, depression, confusion, and the desire to know and control my future had ceased. This was the beginning of a breakthrough that would change my life and strengthen my relationship with God. After overcoming my connection to new age spiritualism, I became hungry for God’s Word. All along, as I was traveling through a wilderness of endless doubt and confusion, the presence of the Holy Spirit was my refuge!
The moral of my story is…
New age spiritualism was not the solution to my ‘wilderness.’ Instead of seeking divination, astrology, psychics, chakras, crystals and other new age devices for answers, I should have been seeking God’s presence by studying His Word. I needed to strengthen my Faith in believing that in perfect timing, God would show me the best path to take for my life. I needed patience and trust in that knowing in His time, things would work out for my good. Most importantly, I needed to surrender to the fact that God is always in control—and that all things come to pass according to His will.